Surviving Heart Break

For many of us, heartbreak is almost a rite of passage. Relationships are complex and delicate things that most people don't get right the first time.

When someone we love wants to leave us, we typically go through these emotional stages - at first we may want to focus on the behaviour and feel victimized by a betrayal or lies.

We may go through many stages like anger, revenge, guilt, violence, depression or jealousy or we might feel unattractive, ***ually inadequate, boring or stupid.

If we peel away the layers and keep asking ourselves where the pain is coming from, we will find that it is not the opinion of another person that causes the pain, it is our acceptance of the opinion.

People do not give you love, and they do not take love away from you. You choose the degree of flow between yourself and another.

The other great misunderstanding is the belief in a one and only. The idea that love is only real or valid when it is a partnership relationship is very, very limited and downright damaging.

We become tunnel-visioned and grossly restricted in a belief that there is only one person or one love available to us.

Not only do we expect all of our love to come from only one person, but we also expect that they must love us exclusively and forever.

Also, we accept that change is an unavoidable fact of life, but we still insist that love will never change. We insist on an impossible promise and self-destruct when the promise is broken.

When friends move on we accept it because we did not have unrealistic expectations to begin with.

Our children grow up and move on and we encourage it, we don't take it as a betrayal nor do we interpret it as rejection of ourselves.

One person's ability or inability to love you does not make you any more or any less than you are. Your value as a lovable and worthwhile person is not determined by the opinion of only one other person.

Your supply of love, and your ability to love, is not in the control of another person.

Only love can replenish love, and even if you feel you are faking it at first, it is most important to get back your flow.

Be loving with yourself, treat yourself the way your ex-partner should have treated you, and treat yourself the way you wanted to treat your ex-partner.

And don't forget the love you share with family and friends, and allow that to expand. Stretch loving moments and experiences, give and take compliments and kindnesses, imbibe beauty and extend pleasure. Recall your energy and bring it back into yourself.

Dogs' Lives

A veterinarian was called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker.

The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

The vet examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. He told the family he couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As they made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told the vet they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure.

They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

During the procedure, Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that one might wonder if he understood what was going on.

Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion.

They sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.

Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why."
Startled, they all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned everyone.

He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life, like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?"

The six-year-old continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."